I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
