Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
