eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
