I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
