oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Randomize
