I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
It's just like the Real World with babies
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
