I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
