he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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