I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize