when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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