Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
