Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
