I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize