Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
