She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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