yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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