you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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