the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
you had me at cake vodka
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
