I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
