love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
