: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
