You made me cry and you don't even care
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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