Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
