I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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