wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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