There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
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