gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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