I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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