My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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