some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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