i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
love makes seman taste better
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
