please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
