let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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