What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
