i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
