My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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