so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Alive.
So much puke
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
