Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just want to make out with him forever
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
