I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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