I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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