oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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