tell your sister to shave her snatch
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
