i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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