Heybabeimwearingurpanties
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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