Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
