Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
