remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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