Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
