I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
