Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
