Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
