I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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