are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
