This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
