Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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