I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You've changed since you got that strap on
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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