Your tits are I can't wait for
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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