Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
