i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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