whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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