i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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