Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
